


Welcome to Halloween: the Karkat Vantas story

by AndIMustMask



Series: Monsters in YOUR Neighborhood, News at Eleven [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Karkat has kind of a shitty life, Semi-fatal murder, wait what
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:37:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1935993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndIMustMask/pseuds/AndIMustMask
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>You're not at all surprised that you've gone from the first day at your shitty job to bleeding out on the floor in three hours.</i>
</p><p>- - - - -</p><p>The origins of our shouty friend Karkat in the Too Late for Halloween setting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The day begins with the same grating alarm blaring into your ear. You groggily swat at it, knocking it off the nightstand. It conveniently misses the snooze button upon landing, meaning you'll have to get up and turn the piece of shit off anyway if you want any peace.

You groan into the morning air and silently curse whoever invented the alarm clock, as well as their parents, neighbors, pets, and anyone else who might be even slightly related to them in any way whatsoever.

 _That_ complete waste of time finished, you haul yourself out of bed, turning off the alarm and setting it back on the nightstand; then shamble around in search of clothes and a shower.

You locate a pair of grey jeans that don't smell and a black tee that you've only worn once this week, then take a shower--between the soap and aftershave you're hoping to break even with the musty clothes smell. It's only after you're under the hot spray that you notice you're out of body wash. 

_Dammit._

You make due with washing your hair and get out, making a mental note to swing by the store when you get paid--assuming you last long enough for that in the first place. Once you're dry you slap on some deodorant and scrub your teeth into submission before getting dressed again to prep for your first day on the job.

It had taken you _weeks_ of digging and searching and pleading to finally land this thing. Sure, it was the night shift at a shitty convenience store in the middle of a terrible neighborhood, but it's money in your pocket so you'll take it.

You sure as hell need the income after losing your previous job for decking two co-workers and a customer in the most satisfying two minutes of your time spent there.

After scouring your small kitchen for something to throw together, you go with your usual 'breakfast': two ramen packs and cold glass of water. You stash what you don't eat in a tupperware container to bring to work as a snack--your employer had specifically told you that anything you take from the store on your lunch break comes out of your check, and fuck that with a rusty bandsaw. 

You aren't making nearly enough to start taking their overpriced shit out of your meager pay, so leftover noodles it is. You cram it and a water bottle into a plastic bag and set out of your apartment, trudging down four flights of stairs because the elevator is broken--you wonder if it ever worked in the first place but don't care enough to continue entertaining the thought--to step out into the evening air.

You have to circle the building for your shitty bike; stock grey and slightly too big for you, with rust creeping in around the joints and bolts holding it together. For all it's looks it hasn't collapsed into a broken heap yet, so you keep it around. That you can't afford a car also helps. 

\- - - - -

It takes almost a half-hour of riding through the chilly air to reach your new place of employment; a run down little corner store that looked as though it had been forced up by the nail salon and pawn shop on either side of the corner, like a greasy pimple on this intersection's puckered asshole.

Your watch says you're fifteen minutes early, giving you plenty of time to catch your breath and stop freezing to death before your new boss is supposed to arrive with the keys.

You chain your bike to the bars on the the far side of the wraparound window and settle in to wait.

Luckily your boss arrives in only a few minutes, giving you a small wave as he pulls in. Over the next five minutes you're given a tour of the building and it's security protocols before he hands you the keys to the building and fucks off in his sedan. 

There's a few customers before sun goes down and you power through them quickly. You're amazed: you could be blind fucking smashed and not mess this up, how did the last guy manage to get his sorry ass fired? Then, given the blistering ineptitude you're exposed to so regularly? Anything is possible.

"Gimme everything in the register, now!"

 _Shit_.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hurry up!"

"Alright, alright, calm down." You show him your hands and turn to the register to pop it open (pressing the silent alarm button on the side as you do), and fuck anyone if they call you a coward--you're not getting shot on your first day here, especially over such a shitty job. You put what little cash is in there on the counter and he scrambles to stuff it into his jacket with his free hand.

When you run out of money to pull out he gets upset. "Hurry up and gimme the money, man!"

"There isn't any more."

"Bullshit!"

Your mouth gets the better of you before you can stop it, "Would you like to come back here and check then? The sign at the door says the register keeps less than fourty dollars."

"You think you're funny, motherfucker?"

You shake your head and bite your tongue. _God dammit that was stupid why would you even do that Karkat._

"Hand over your wallet!" You reach into your back pocket and drop it on the counter. When he finds only your ID, a library card and a bus pass you know this isn't going to end well.

"You think you can fucking _play with me_? Issat it? Where's your money?!"

"I don't have any."

"Don't fucking lie to me!" The gun in his hand is shaking.

"So I'm poor. It's my first day. You think I'd work here if I actually _had_ any money?" 

You have a split second to regret that before the gun barks twice, driving you into the shelf of cigarettes and magazines behind you. Your chest is on fire and the hand that clenches at it comes up with blood. Lots of blood. The thief curses and bolts out the door and out into the night. You hope he gets hit by a bus.

There's a ringing in your ears that's building steadily as the counter slides up in your view, your legs giving out as you haltingly slide down the racks to the floor. The rest of you isn't working any better; the most you can do is flail weakly, smearing blood onto the worn linoleum with the rest that's pooling under you.

Moving hurts, and breathing hurts worse--the worst part is that you can still see, and besides the ringing in your head you can hear too. Anyone who says you see your life flash before your eyes has no clue what the fuck they're talking about, You're just stuck watching yourself bleed out while the rest of your body refuses to work, and cursing your stupidity over mouthing off to an armed robber _of course he was going to shoot you you blithering moron, what possessed you to think otherwise?_

Your mental tirade is interrupted as a woman runs into view. She's tall, with short black hair and skin that looks like coffee with too much milk in it, wearing a black double breasted jacket-skirt thing that ends at her knee. You can't see her shoes.

She pauses for only a few seconds at the sight of you on the ground. She says something that sounds like it's coming through a pillow--that damn ringing is so loud! She puts an hand on your chest that you don't feel and shouts something. You can't feel your chest anymore now, which you suppose is a backhanded mercy of biology, with darkness creeping into the edges of your vision. The woman shakes you slightly, a pleading look as she says something. Her eyes are a calming shade of green.

You kind of feel sorry for her, having to see you die like this in front of her. Your vision starts to swim fades as she leans in and you finally go under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Don't worry, it's just a pair of gunshot wounds, he'll be fiiiine._


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing you wake to is pain.

Your chest feels like someone poured battery acid into your shiny new bullet wounds and sealed them with a branding iron, while your arms and legs have fire crawling through them, wicking out from your torso--you're not even going to _try_ and parse how your skull feels right now.

The second thing you notice after what feels like an eternity of writhing and screaming in the dark is that you're not dead. Not only are you not dead, but once you can finally pry your eyes open without being met with searing light you find yourself laying in a large and expensively furnished bed in an equally large and expensively furnished room.

To your right is a woman--the one from earlier, rigid in an armchair pulled next to the bed, watching you with tear-glassed eyes. Her hand grasps at yours when she notices you looking around, immediately releasing it as you hiss and recoil from the white-hot lance her touch drives up your arm.

After that you lay there in relative silence, beyond your ragged gasps and the small sobs that escape her as she watches you, saying "I'm sorry I'm so sorry" in barely a whisper, over and over again.

You're not sure how long you lay like this before the pain starts to fade, shifting from the horrible burning to a just-as-terrible prickling sensation, like your entire body had fallen asleep, running straight through your bones as well. This was made worse by the fact that you couldn't move at all now, beyond your breathing. Eventually you lull despite the extreme discomfort.

_You're not dead, so what is she apologizing for?_

\- - - - -

It's not until the first pangs hit that you fully understand how fucked you are.

_"I'm so sorry, I should never have done this, I hope you can forgive--"_

_"Nice to see saving my life is that much of an inconvenience." Your words are halting, set between labored breaths from the exertion of pulling youself up to a hunched half-sitting position._

_The shattered look that takes over her face is heartbreaking to look at, and as usual you take a moment to fucking hate yourself at that moment for opening his mouth at all._

At first you thought she was crazy (and even said as much). Of course you were grateful that she'd taken the time to help you at all, fucked up as you were, but that didn't change the fact that the words exiting her face were complete insanity.

Seriously, _vampires? Werewolves? Fairies?_ Someone needs to take a step out of the cinema and reexamine her life, you thought.

_"This is all a lot to tell you at once, especially in your condition, but you have a right to understand what is happening."_

_You sit and stare dumbly at her. Noting your lack of interruption, she continues, "When I discovered you you were beyond medical help. I acted hastily, but rashly, and in the heat of the moment. I had no way of knowing that this would work at all, and now that it has I feel like I've terribly wronged you by forcing this fate on you."_

_You decide to humor her and play along. "Hey, anything is better than dead, right?"_

_The raw grief you saw in her at your words sent a cold weight plummeting through you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? He was only _mostly_ dead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya drops wome wicked expositorizing on what the deal is with karkat not being all dead and stuff.

You sleep for a while more after your initial chat. Not fucking long enough you think, since your eyes are still heavy and your limbs prickly and slow to respond when you wake, along with the horrible gnawing in your gut that had started earlier.

Before you started to drift you'd asked the woman--Kanaya, why she didn't have any painkillers. She said they wouldn't work for _this_ , and avoided further questioning as to why by fleeing the room (to get you something to drink, if you were able, she said). 

You still don't believe her. 

_"With the severity of your wounds and the lack of time to acquire more mundane healing I was compelled to intervene."_

_"You're avoiding the 'why'--and more importantly the 'how' of all this."_

_Her brow furrows, thinking hard. "Why I saved you is simple: you needed help, and I was the only person in the area. As for how I saved you... That is more complex."_

_She takes a deep breath. "For lack of a simpler term, I am what you would call a vampire. Saving you involved giving you my blood to help replace what you had lost and to aid the healing process. I had to first remove the bullets to keep you from healing around them and causing long-term damage, but that is less important."_

_She forges ahead before you can voice your disbelief in all this, continuing; "What's happening to you now is a sort of transformation; my blood is trying to convert your body into one of my kind, and is repairing the damage as a side effect of making you a more suitable host." Terror shoots up your spine at the thought, but she cuts you off with a motion of her hand. "However, my blood will consume itself mending your body long before it can do anything else. You are not suddenly going to turn into a vampire. Changing you completely would require a great deal more, which I cannot readily supply."_

_You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. She notices and her expression droops further, "Unfortunately, I fear I have caused far worse harm than good in doing this. While you won't change completely, you_ will _change. With the repairs to you being created from my... constitution, the changes my blood has made will only persist as long as blood is present to feed them. When my blood has exhausted itself, it will turn to yours for nourishment."_

_"So you're saying--and I'm not saying I believe you--that this is temporary? And after that I'm, what, going to die again while my body eats itself?"_

_"Yes--but there are alternatives!" She quickly adds._

_"And what would those be?" You rasp._

_"I could take the necessary steps to change you completely..."_

_"I'm hearing an 'or' here." You aren't keen on the hypothetical thought of becoming a horror-movie monster._

_"...or I could give you my blood in smaller amounts. Enough to keep your body from rejecting the changes, but not enough to change you any further. You could live a normal life that way."_

_"But?"_

_"Doing so would be very risky. If I give you too much, the excess will work to continue changing you. Too little on the other hand, and the changes made will begin taking from you again. Either situation would be incredibly painful."_

_"Let's say I believe you--hypothetically. How do you know all this?"_

_"Because I went through the very same pain as yourself."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be going more into the ins and outs of vampirism, and an explanation towards karkat's circumstances. Look forward to it.
> 
> Also, i note that the end of last chapter and the beginning of this one are a bit disjointed in relation to each other (and even parts of themselves): that will be explained next chapter as well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's got a date! More talking! Me having gotten fuck-all done!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FUCK IT, FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK.  
> I'm just going to post what I've got and quit worrying and fretting over so little text.

It's still unnerving to wake and find you've jumped through months of recovery--and with the starting line set at 'dead' that's damn impressive. You can even flex your fingers now and grab stuff, instead of bonelessly slapping at everything and making both a mess and an idiot of yourself in front of Kanaya (not that she says anything beyond 'would you like assistance?'). That you're so easily impressed by this speaks volumes of the levels of boredom you have been subjected to thus far.

You have to prop yourself on an elbow and crane your neck to find Kanaya, sitting tucked into a chair in the corner, knitting something out of black and purple yarn. She's always around somewhere when you wake up, ready to pick up whatever conversation you dozed off during as if you had been out for a few seconds instead of a few hours, and you're can't decide whether that's comforting or unsettling. Let's go with both.

"I see you're awake."

"Yeah." Eloquence was always a talent of yours.

"How are you feeling?" She asks as if she were talking about the weather, not looking up from her project. You can definitely tell she's in a good mood.

"That good, huh?"

"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about." She replies with a singsong voice.

" _Sure._ So who's the lucky guy?"

"She is a lovely young woman I encountered recently. We spoke over scones and have arranged another meeting. This evening, in fact." Kanaya continues her work.

"Scones? Do vampires even need to eat normal--wait, how long have I been out?"

"Not very long." 

"Define 'not very long'." You hope your tone properly conveys the level of _'I am not amused, answer the question you flighty broad'_ you're feeling right now.

She takes a moment like she's trying to tally it up before replying, "About four days, unless I'm mistaken."

"Oh haha I seem to have misheard you. For a second it almost sounded like you said four _days_ there."

She makes a puzzled 'hmm', "I'm not sure what you mean. This time was much shorter than the last."

"How."

"Your previous bout of dormancy lasted just short of two weeks by my count. All considered, your recovery has had a surprising lack of complications." Then her gaze shifts from slightly curious to worried like you're starting to freak out _you're not freaking out I mean why would you feel even slightly mortified about being in a coma for weeks at a time not you nope_. "Karkat?"

"Two _WEEKS!?_ " You shout and immediately regret it--your chest flaring with pain so sharp it fills your eyes with white-hot specks. Kanaya is immediately at your side as you clutch your shirt and gasp until it falls to a more bearable level.

"Please tell me this is all just an elaborate joke."

"No, Karkat." Her serious tone makes you turn your head. Her eyes almost glowing through the shadow she casts over you. "I understand all too well that this is a great deal to foist on someone so unprepared, but this is no joke, or phantasm or fever-dream. Like it or not, this is your reality now. Choosing to disbelieve it will only lead to madness." She takes a breath, "What I've done is a very serious gesture, and I saved you despite this because I thought you worth saving--don't make me regret taking such a risk." She looms further, her complexion paling dramatically as a red sunburst bleeds in to replace the green of her eyes.

Kanaya takes another breath to compose herself, letting her words sink in. _So in short I'm fucked regardless._

"Alright then, _educate_ me on whatever existence you've decided to volunteer me for--since if it's that or dying I think I'll live, fuck you very much. Death's bony ass can go acquaint itself with his equally bony face." Her eyes remain narrowed dangerously at you, still splashed red. You stare each other down for a few seconds more before both of you stop and try to calm the fuck down. After a sigh you extend an olive branch; "For what it's worth, I appreciate it."

"I'm sorry as well. I had been meaning to say this for some time now, but with you in such unstable condition I did not wish to strain you any further."

"You said I was healing just fine."

"You are, but honestly speaking you were very far gone before I was able to assist you, and while your recovery has gone far better than I dared hope so far there is still quite a ways yet to go. That you've been so lucid is certainly a promising sign."

"How much longer is this supposed to keep going then?"

She bites her lip, looking down. "I'm unsure. From what little information I could gather the process varies from person to person, and to what extent that the donor's blood needs to work before the host is whole again."

"So I could be stuck like this for, what, months?"

That she doesn't reply immediately worries you. "It might very well be several years before you are fully recovered." She quickly adds "However it shouldn't take nearly that long for you to at least be able to walk around again."

You swallow down the shock at that, but you can tell she notices it. "Do you happen to have a ballpark of when that might be?"

She looks away. "No, unfortunately."

"I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that there's no way to speed things up."

"Short of converting you fully, no."

A sigh rolls out of you. "Then how about we get started on explaining what the fuck I'm getting into here."


	6. Chapter 6

The following weeks were fairly uneventful. You would wake to find Kanaya lurking somewhere nearby, eat a little, check how healed you are, talk for a while on what you're going to need to expect with your new lot in life, eat some more before you start to doze, and fall asleep while Kanaya fills you in on her romantic fumbles with one _Rose Lalonde_. 

"I swear Karkat, it's as if she can read my mind and instead of exploiting it she prefers to sit and chuckle at my thoughts, which almost seems worse."

"You sure it's not that you're just awkward and shamefully transparent?"

She gives you her primmest glare and doesn't deign to reply.

"Honestly, have you considered just saying 'fuck it' and just throwing her over a table or something?" Her flush is immediate and fills to the tips of her ears. She sputters something that dies before it comes out. "You _have_."

"Karkat stop that." Stop what? The shit-eating grin you're wearing? Psh.

"And pass up actual proof that vampire queen Kanaya Maryam is just as human as the rest of us? Not if you payed me." 

"Karkat." The poor girl looks so flustered you almost pity her. Almost.

"So. After the movie?"

"I'm not sure I want to continue telling someone who will only make fun of my plight." She turns away pouting, but you can see the quirk in the corner of her mouth.

"Oh please. You enjoy having someone to tell as much as I'm amused by your floundering attempts at romance. The movie?"

She eyes you suspiciously before continuing with a huff.

\- - - - - - - - - -

The first time you meet Rose herself is by accident. Kanaya warned you the previous evening (you think?) that the object of her affections was coming over for a Girl's Night of sorts (mostly involving gladiator movies to pick apart and enough cookie dough ice cream to send an elephant into a diabetic coma) that you immediately disregarded, assuming you'd end up taking a weeklong nap as usual.

Just your luck to wake and find the short-haired woman in question peering through the door at you. That she met your tired glare with an even disinterest earned her a modicum of respect though. 

"Hello."

You continue your glare as you fumble for the glass of water on the side-table. _Stupid hands_.

"I don't believe we've been introduced."

After a proper swig to get the dead animal taste out of your mouth, you answer. "Yeah."

"Might I ask your name?"

"Karkat." Your name brings a raised eyebrow. "You’d be Rose, right?"

" _You're_ Karkat? From her descriptions I half-thought she owned something more feline."

You snort, "You two gone at it yet?" Her immediate 'no' leads you believe she expected you'd ask. While you said it to get a rise out of her, you can certainly tell a poker face when you see one. You don't miss the note of disappointment in her tone though. Hmm. 

So Kanaya isn't the only one dissatisfied with the pace of their little rendezvous then. You keep that to yourself--there may be hope for your stupid mouth yet.

"I hear you're recovering well?" 

"About as fast as one can recover from staring down dead, yeah. I'll advise against gunshots by the way; they fucking hurt."

The gives a nod of agreement, "And how is ghouldom treating you so far?" Your eyebrows shoot up unbidden.

"Run that by me again?"

“A ghoul. Someone changed by a vampire, but not yet one themselves. That _is_ what you are, correct?”

 _Wait. How long have I been out if Kanaya filled her in on this?_ You sigh, massaging the bridge of your nose. “What day is it?”

“December third. Do you want the year as well or--”

“Thank you smartass. Where’s Kanaya?” Seems you missed Thanksgiving, and you’re way too late for Halloween. ~~Damn~~ You’re not exactly the holiday type, but you were looking forward to seeing what Kanaya made.

“Asleep in the living room. Why do you ask?” BEEP BEEP RED FLAG You pointedly remember very large windows in the living room from a tour of the house a few weeks back (christ it feels weird thinking that).

“Think you could go get her?”

An eyebrow cocks at your request, “Are you sure you want me to wake her? She seemed quite content.” She’s a good actress at least.

“No offense, but I’m not sure you’d be able to help me to the bathroom.” 

Her next excuse is interrupted when you hear the front door close. It also seems Rose didn’t, so score one for fucked up budding monster senses you guess.

"On second thought, it can wait." With some effort you pull yourself up to a half-sitting position. "What was all that about vampires and ghouls?"

"Exactly what I said."

"You don't actually _believe_ that stuff do you?"

"Oh, they're very real. The supernatural is actually quite common if you know where to look." You jump almost a foot off the mattress when something cold slides across your neck, and the freakout slap you make at it is gonna bruise like a motherfucker. Rose raises an eyebrow a fraction, and you know for a _fact_ she's the one doing it. There's nothing there, but the crawling sensation continues regardless. "Ah, Kanaya, I see you're awake." She doesn't turn to see her, keeping her gaze locked on you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks and warm fuzzies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this chapter refers rather heavily to chapters 3 and 5, so they might need once-over to refresh one's memory

It's almost relaxing how the you and Kanaya have settled into a routine here, especially with how rocky things started out.

_You're not dead, so what is she apologizing for?_

_It takes a few moments, but after you realize it you are_ astoundingly _sober_ : You're not in a hospital. _Why aren't you in a hospital--or better yet, a morgue? The back half of your brain still sighs in relief, since that'd be one hell of a bill you'd have to pay because fuck your shitty medical insurance but this isn't the time._

_You manage "Where am I? Who are--" before you're cut off by a fit of coughing, which sets off your chest again and threatens to knock your ass back out._

_"...aryam"_

_One last cough pops in to say fuck you, "What?"_

_"My name's Kanaya. Kanaya Maryam." She takes a halting breath, "You're at my home, in a guest room." She's slurred and stuttering from all the crying she's doing, but you can make out what she's saying._

_You manage to rasp out a rough approximation of 'hospital' before you feel more coughing threatening to run you over again._

_She looks away, "I can't." Why does she keep looking at you like her dog died?_

_"Why?" Your mind whirls through a few darker explanations._

_"I'm so sorry, but I can't..."_

_While you would greatly enjoy debating the merits of receiving proper medical attention at length with your apparent captor, you feel the familiar falling sensation in the back of your head and you're out like a light before you can get a proper word out._

\- - - - - 

Actually thinking back, your initial ~~terror~~ suspicion seems almost childish. There's certainly a lot of serious shit going on around you now, but you're at least grateful you're not dead. Then again that could just be stockholm syndrome speaking, which you suppose should worry you instead... 

_Nah._ Shitty as your situation is, she _did_ save your life. Not that you'll really get to actually _live it_ much before you're done healing, but hey.

_That she doesn't reply immediately worries you. "It might very well be several years before you are fully recovered." She quickly adds "However it shouldn't take nearly that long for you to at least be able to walk around again."_

_You swallow down the shock at that, but you can tell she notices it. "Do you happen to have a ballpark of when that might be?"_

_She looks away. "No, unfortunately."_

_"I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that there's no way to speed things up."_

_She shakes her head slightly, "Short of converting you fully, no."_

_A sigh rolls out of you. "Then how about we get started on explaining what the fuck I'm getting into here."_

_"The short explanation is that your body cannot function without a vampire's constitution due to the severity of your wounds. What's currently healing you is mine, and it cannot live without blood--in this case, yours, or more of itself, which I will provide, to keep it from breaking down or harming you."_

_"You've explained that before--" You hold up your hands when she gives you a tart look, "--but continue."_

_She keeps her gaze on your for a beat before resuming, "Since you've chosen to take the long road, so to speak, your recovery will be slow, but you will have more time to adjust to the changes that your body will undergo."_

_"Alright, besides patching the bullet holes that got me here, what kind of changes should I expect? How extreme are we talking?"_

_Kanaya clears her throat, "Things like better eyesight, hearing, sense of smell. Your reflexes will be faster, when you're healed enough to actually make use of them." You grimace, remembering all the cups you keep dropping or knocking over, but she continues. "Gradually you'll be able to lift more, jump higher, run faster and for longer periods, and so forth. You'll become less affected by illnesses and extreme temperatures, and heal faster if you're injured."_

_"There is no possible way there aren't horrifying drawbacks to all that."_

_She forges ahead, "Explaining what causes them would take a great deal of time, but that is a short list of some of the more_ mundane _changes." You boggle at what Kanaya would consider a_ weird _change as she continues: "And yes, there are safety concerns. The most obvious being that you'll need to feed to sustain yourself. Beyond that, one's heightened senses can lead to rather extreme discomfort if they're not prepared, and improperly using your heightened strength can break bones, tear muscles, and other debilitating injuries. As for the healing, it largely comes from my blood, which will require you to feed more as an upkeep of sorts, as well as accelerating your transformation."_

_"....Kanaya."_

_"It's also worth mentioning that these changes aren't going to happen immediately or evenly--or at all in some cases. Vampirism is unpredictable at best, and the process can vary wildly from person to person--"_

_"--Kanaya!"_

_"What Karkat?"_

_"You're rambling."_

_A blush creeps up her face. She coughs uncomfortably, "I'm sorry. We can continue this later, I've given you a lot to digest."_

_"I appreciate it. But one more question before we stop for now?"_

_"Alright."_

_You get to cough uncomfortably this time. "What if somebody doesn't want all that? I mean I'm not so naive to ask if there's a cure for all this, but..."_

_Kanaya sighs, "The transformation itself is one's human constitution being replaced by a vampire's. In theory, if someone at a sufficiently early stage could remove all of it from their body--and survive the process--they would be 'cured'. To say nothing of the staggering complexity and dangers of such an operation. In your case it's that vampiric constitution that's keeping you alive, so attempting it..."_

_"Would just kill me."_ Come on, you should have expected this. __

 _Her eyes lock onto her hands, "...Yes."_ Now look, you've got her beating herself up again.

_"Hey. Kanaya." You wave her off when she looks up at you, "It's fine. I wasn't expecting anything from asking about it, I was just curious."_

\- - - - -

The longer you're around Rose the more certain you become: besides knowing way too much about things she shouldn't, there's something very _off_ about her, personally.

You don't know how exactly, but sometimes when she's concentrating on something, or the light hits her in a certain way, you'll catch half a glimpse of _something_. You'll blink and suddenly she's normal again, but for that instant something rears up in your head and screams to get as far away from her as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, the following days--Weeks? You can't keep track--show you pretty clearly that she's going to be a common fixture in your stay here whether you like her or not. She and Kanaya are pretty much inseparable, though visits from Ms. Lalonde herself are rare, either out of courtesy or mutual distrust.

The few talks you two _have_ had were largely feeling each other out. You've come to the conclusion that she's not planning anything malicious--especially not towards Kanaya--which will have to do for now. You might even go so far as saying she doesn't seem that awful of a person (though you sure as hell wouldn't say so within earshot). She's cagey, to be sure, but then you happen to be the reigning world champion of the caustic asshole olympics, so you're not going to hold insufferable verbal barbs against anyone for long.

Meanwhile, Kanaya continues to school you about the world you've been dropped into:

_"Alright, it's about that time again." You breathe out and stretch as far as your body would allow, "What horrifying self-realization will we reach today, Ms. Maryam?"_

_"Hopefully just the usual life-shattering sort this time." She smiles. Between you and Rose, Kanaya may yet learn some actual sarcasm. "What subject would you like to start with?"_

_You take a few seconds to mull her question over, "Let's just start from the top. What exactly_ am _I?" As often as she tried to say that you could live a normal life once you'd recovered, you already know that's a crock of (well-meaning) horseshit._

 _Kanaya takes a deep breath, choosing her words. "You are at what some would call the halfway point between humanity and vampirism--Not literally of course, since you personally are still technically a human being." She stops herself and clears her throat, "Regardless, there have been several names used for people in your position; Sentinels of the Dawn, Blood-knights, and more recently,_ ghouls _." She uses the word with distaste. You make a mental note to never let Rose know she was right. "Put short, it refers to humans who are bound to vampires as servants, bodyguards, and so forth, and paid with their masters' blood. It's also outdated, for reasons I will explain shortly."_

_Your chest tightens at the reminder. Kanaya goes pretty far to keep the whole 'feeding' thing as painless for you as possible, but it's still taken some getting used to; the few doses you've had to take recently were kept very small and in a little plastic cup, with another glass of water to go after. The first time, You'd spent a few minutes steeling yourself before feeling like an idiot when it just tasted like blood (because really what else did you expect?)--thin, coppery, and it clung to the mouth ~~and you'd damn near crushed the glass from the sudden roaring~~_ ~~want~~ _~~in your chest~~ , which you immediately washed down with water. _

_Since then you've treated it like any other medicine: take it, get it over with, and carry on._

_"In actuality, they are fledgling vampires, but it's not an entirely one-sided exchange." Kanaya continues, "Those in your position are able to enjoy many of the positive aspects of vampirism with only very minor drawbacks. Sunlight, for instance, will only mildly inconvenience you, And things such as running water don't affect you in the slightest."_

_"From what I've heard, you go out with Rose during the day all the time."_

_She clears her throat uncomfortably, "I suppose that was a poor example, yes. Those of my..." She pauses, searching for the right word, "lineage--yourself included--are rather gifted in that regard. Even so, I can only stay in direct sunlight for a few hours at a time. Any longer and I suffer the same as any other vampire, and it is incredibly taxing to do so at all."_

_You'll take her word for it. "So, perks?"_

_"Right... Perhaps it would be better to give some context on vampires as a whole, and some of our more mundane weaknesses and how you sidestep them, rather than listing things at random."_

_She takes your flat expression as a cue to continue._

_"I'll start from the beginning then: Vampires are not human. As obvious as that sounds, it's very important to remember. Technically, I am not a vampire--or not a full one, at least; vampirism itself is the process of becoming Something Else, and what exactly that something _is_ , I cannot say for sure. by our standards I am still very human."_

_"You're gonna need to run that by me again. Slower this time, and preferably in english."_

_Kanaya lets out a small sigh, thinking some more. "Think of it like... a percentage or gauge. At empty you have an average human, and at full you have a pure vampire. Everything from one percent to one hundred percent are technically a vampire, due to the inevitability I mentioned a rather long time ago, if still you remember." You nod and she resumes, "Where new human cells would be created, some are consumed by the vampire cells in your body, which will replace them with more of itself--though 'cells' isn't a very accurate description. Since humans' cells die and are replenished naturally over time, the change happens gradually."_

_"And taking in more vampire blood makes it faster as well." You add on._

_She nods, "Yes."_

_On the subject of feeding, a thought occurs to you, "Why is it that I need your blood, specifically?"_

_"Simply put, your body hasn't adapted enough to process regular blood properly, since the majority of your digestive system is still human. My blood has vampiric constitution in it, which lets it replace what is healing your wounds, rather than what's there needing to take from you to sustain itself."_

__And to gradually replace your stomach for your eventual foray into bloodsucking. Great. _"You keep saying 'constitution', and you mentioned that cells isn't the right word for it. What do you mean?"_

_Kanaya takes a sip of her drink, "Humans (as well as most living creatures on earth) are very specialized, all the way down to individual cells--blood cells, skin cells, brain cells, and so on. In a vampire's case it's much the opposite; their entire constitution is largely universal. It's what allows them to integrate themselves in the place of a host's regular cells as the transformation progresses, and controlling them is the reason behind many of the abilities that vampires possess, since one could make muscle tissue act like bone, for example."_

_"So vampires are what, amorphous?"_

_"Using the analogies from earlier, as one reaches higher percentages of vampirism, yes."_

_That takes you some time to wrap your head around._

__\- - - - -

When you'd finally recovered enough to properly sit up without agonizing pain you were quite possibly the happiest person in the house. I mean sure, you still couldn't move your legs, and you weren't the one in a committed and disgustingly sweet relationship with someone, and you still had any number of months of painful boring recovery left before you could maybe be somewhat normal again but--you know what nevermind, you're not happy with this shit at all. The surprise on Kanaya's face when she came in to see you actually sitting was priceless though.

The next time you woke up there was a new wheelchair parked next to the bed. There was also a sudden pipe leak in the ceiling, because you sure as hell wouldn't cry over something like that.

\- - - - -

"I'm thinking about telling Rose." Kanaya blurts from behind you.

You keep pushing along through the hall. "Telling her what?"

She stops, "About us. About _me_."

_Oh._

"Karkat?"

"Hm." You'd apparently taken longer than you'd thought coming up with a response.

"What do you think?"

"I don't really know." You hadn't told her that Rose apparently learned the truth already. "What do you think will happen if you tell her?"

Kanaya goes silent.

"What brought this on, anyway?" You start rolling towards the kitchen and she falls back into step behind you.

"I worry about her, Karkat. The more we spend time together the more I keep having to push her away. I'm..." Her voice cracks. "Afraid, Karkat. It terrifies me that I might to hurt her. That part of me _wants_ to."

You shrug. "Then tell her. Better to just get it off your chest than tearing yourself up about it."

"What if she's afraid of me when she finds out what I am? What if she--" Kanaya stops short, her voice quiet: "What if she leaves?"

"Then she's as shallow as a puddle of rancid piss and good fucking riddance." You roll a few more feet, " _But,_ if I might be the optimist for a second--and hear me out, I know this sounds crazy: What if she doesn't?"

She doesn't answer until you're waiting at the kitchen door for her to catch up, but you can hear her composing herself behind you. "I expected you to poke fun at me."

You grunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy numerous italics batman! It's been almost nine months since I last touched this sidestory according to AO3? I mean I get timesunk like a motherfucker but jesus that's long.
> 
> Despite in-chapter mentions of discussing vampires' strengths and weaknessess, those might need to wait a chapter or two since this one was getting rather bloated.


	8. Chapter 8

Following your advice some weeks ago, Kanaya told Rose the truth, who feigned shock like a champion at finding out that her apparent girlfriend was a blood-sucking movie monster with impeccable fashion sense, and you feigned shock like a champion at the news that Rose was totally okay with continuing her relationship with the aforementioned movie monster with impeccable fashion sense. Both you and Rose share a long look of mutual agreement to not make a federal fucking issue out of this if Kanaya is happy with it.

Thus, Kanaya had been positively _glowing_ these last few days. Really, it's almost sickening how chipper she was--and having managed to not slip into a coma during that time (that you know of) really helped you appreciate it in all it's unbearably sweet glory. 

On that subject, the lack of sudden blackouts has done wonders for your sense of time, and being able to wheel yourself around Kanaya's preposterously large abode has kept the cabin fever to a minimum.

Of course the tradeoff of being semi-ambulatory is that you exhaust yourself far too quickly, and have to ration your time out and about versus in bed--you've also avoided going outside for that reason as well, since you don't want to exhaust yourself and get the mother of all sunburns if one of the ladies of the house can't find you--especially with you actively avoiding them and their saccharine back and forth. That and the crushing headaches. 

There's a small, annoying voice in your head that points out that this excruciating sensitivity to the sights and sounds of the great outdoors is a good thing, since hey, superpowers! Which you respond to with a mental double-bird and a general disgust of the sun.

And none of that's important right now! How the last few days have turned into a nightmare so quickly is beyond you, but you've been working on this whole "unphased by supernatural bullshit" thing with kanaya for a while now, so you are very decidedly ~~not~~ freaking the fuck out right now.

At present, you have a front row seat to discovering some of the more horrific _issues_ that come with vampirism--sitting half propped against a bathroom wall, supporting Kanaya who is presently _very_ violently ill, and trying to keep her propped up and over the bowl of the toilet. You've been mostly successful in your efforts. The more disturbing part of this whole experience is that what's coming out of Kanaya is just an inky black liquid, rather than the more conventional stomach contents that you'd been expecting. It froths and hisses when it hits the water, forming little opalescent bubbles that look far too much like eyes, that blink and roll and burst and reform on the surface. 

Trying to properly describe the smell that comes with it would take time out of maintaining your deathgrip on the panic you're holding down, but it chokes the air and makes your eyes sting and water. 

You're not even going to try to imagine how awful it is for her.

And man, what's happening to Kanaya is worse: past her violent shaking, you can see the flesh under her skin literally crawling and twisting on her exposed forearms, like someone trying to wring out a washcloth, which makes sense in a quiet corner of your mind that you ignore in favor of keeping ahold of Kanaya.

This goes on until nothing but a thin clear fluid is coming up, and then extended shaking and dry-heaving into the toilet, which you've had to flush a few times by this point. Eventually that too winds down until Kanaya is curled into a ball on the tile floor, shaking and coughing thinly. You snatch a low-hanging towel off of the wall rack and prop up her head with it as gently as you can (which is impressive when youre propped up on an elbow), quietly apologizing when she flinches at your touch. You set the small wastebin from the corner in her hands and maneuver yourself to a sitting position at her back, leaning on the tub.

Now that things have quieted down, three things occur to you simultaneously: One, you have no idea what to do here--Is Kanaya going to be okay? Are there doctors for vampires? Since you have no clue where to even start on that, you're just stuck here fretting over her. Two, between the only now-subsiding terror and moving, balancing, and holding up both yourself and Kanaya, you are _exhausted_. Three, you are fucking _shaking_ at how angry you are. What the _TAINT-CHAFING FUCK_ happened to cause all this?

Of course now that the tiredness has caught you, it occurs to you that you should really open the door to get some fresh air in here, so you have to drag yourself over to the door to fumble with the knob before you manage to get it open. The rush of cool air that greets you is welcome, the sound of a covered sniffle outside is not.

"Is she-Is Kanaya okay?" Rose's voice cracks about halfway through, and whatever rage you had going at _her_ not being the one in here with _her girlfriend_ dealing with this gets quenched when you see her tear-streaked face and the soiled hand towel rose is clutching to her shoulder.

Her blood is black.

You, still half-leaning against the door frame, put two and two together and just... exhale and take a deep breath to try and clear your head. The usual snappy remark that if she has working ears it should be crystal fucking clear that Kanaya is in fact _not_ okay barely registers in your mind as you wipe your forehead on your sleeve, "So, Rose, what's _your_ deal?"


	9. Introductions (part 1)

Today's the first day you leave Kanaya's estate. You certainly don't _want_ to, but it's rather difficult to turn her down once she starts Gently Insisting.

After much fiddling and a great deal of complaining, you're loaded up into your chair, ferried to the car, into the passenger seat of a car that looks so foreign and expensive that you can almost feel your skin ruining the upholstery.

The windows are tinted dark enough that you're not getting a headache, meaning if any police see you you're going to get ticketed. You'd love to see the officer's reaction if he gave the whole 'I'm going to need you to step out of the car'-shpiel only for Kanaya to do just that and promptly burst into flame. Of course that's not how it works, even for folk's who are particularly sensitive to sunlight, or so Kanaya tells you.

She tells you a lot of things these days. You finally got around to that strengths and weaknesses chat you started and promptly got sidetracked to hell on a good while back:

The corpse-eating reputation that went with the name "ghoul" was due to people's stupidity and your new dietary requirements (You've found that those two make up many of the misconceptions on vampires.): namely, blood.

More specifically, blood _from vampires_. Turns out the regular stuff just doesn't cut it, and lots of people like you end up dead because they think they're suddenly a vampire and basically starve-slash-massive organ failure to death trying to drink human blood.

It's generally why making new vampires requires pretty much constant supervision, which leads to the whole myth of vampire 'Sires' and that if you kill the boss vampire their underlings will die as well. That last bit is actually pretty true, since without that supervision and source of food, they'll have a long slow death waiting for them. Rarely, a stranded ghoul would be picked up by another vampire in the equally rare situation that their previous _benefactor_ died.

In your case, there were a few perks that came with the near-undead package: you're still _mostly_ human, so unlike a vampire, you don't share many of their weaknesses. You can go out in the sun, for one. Water doesn't present any major issues either. You can even make yourself better than the average asshat if you concentrate--strength, speed, resilience, senses, the whole shebang--but it'll burn up what energy you've got in a fucking hurry, which leads back to the whole needing blood thing.

The downsides? Yeah, that cool stuff you mentioned a second ago? _Horrifically_ uncomfortable to make use of. Repurposing bits of yourself on the fly tends to make the regular surrounding tissues go "woah hey what the fuck". Which damages them, which is healed and replaced by vampire bits in a disturbing ouroboros of self-cannibalism.

You also get to develop any number of neuroses to call your very own--counting things, sorting things, and extreme aversion to certain sights, sounds, or smells are all pretty common ones for vampires (and _way_ later, after some experimentation and horrible accidents that you're not going to talk about, you found that you personally have Major Issues entering places uninvited, and you _despise_ bells now. How original)--something about your brain chemistry changing due to the "being eaten and replaced" process. 

Thankfully, for once in your life, you stopped yourself from asking Kanaya if that affects your memory. That's a pandora's box you have _zero_ intention of opening.

There was a lot more about how vampires themselves worked, but you were fading fast by that point so Kanaya left you to get some sleep.

During the trip the two of you talk about family. Well, Kanaya asks about your life before all this, and you answer in your usual biting manner. You haven't got the stones to ask about Kanaya's past, and from what few snippets you've gathered that subject would have to go back a century or two.

"So where exactly are we going?" You toss out during a lull in the conversation.

"Checking in on someone." She smiles softly, "Varaha has been something of an uncle to me for almost as long as I can remember." There's a soft roll on the 'r' in his name.

"A vampire then?"

"Yes, and a very old friend."

"I'm surprised Rose isn't along with us." 

"She is currently out of state dealing with 'family matters', though she was very decisively cagey on the subject so I decided not to press." She pauses, "I also feel it may be a bit... forward to invite her on this particular trip."

"Don't want to bring your sweetheart home to your folks just yet?"

"It's not like that." She chuckles, though you can see her get a faraway smile as she considers it the thought.

There's a few hours' drive more until your destination comes into view--or at least the front gate for it, anyway.

You considered Kanaya's mansion a grand thing, but this place is a _palace_. You go through four separate gates on the winding road through the grounds. Kanaya takes one of the forks to a steel-and-concrete tunnel that goes through a hill and curves down for a few minutes past "starting to feel claustrophobic" territory. Mercifully, it opens into a proper parking complex and she pulls into a spot.

You go for your seatbelt until she stops you.

"Before we head in, you must understand something." That she's got her Serious Face on makes you wary. "You mustn't speak of anything here. To anyone."

"Your friend that big on his privacy?"

" _Promise_ me, Karkat." Oh damn, there's the Serious Voice too. "You can shout about being a vampire from the rooftops before you can say anything about this."

Well that's mildly horrifying. "...Okay, I promise I won't tell anyone about anything here." You're feeling like you should have put up more of a fight back at Kanaya's house. "Shouldn't this talk have come _before_ driving all the way out here?"

She sidesteps the question: "You and Varaha need be more properly introduced even if you didn't agree to keep quiet."

"What, I could have said no?"

"...You could, but there's only so far I can take you here without complete assurance on your discretion."

There's an awkward silence before she releases your hand. You both exit the car once she grabs your chair out of the trunk. It hangs over the two of you the entire way to a nearby elevator (which requires a card and a password and isn't weird at all) and all the way up, down a long hall and through a warmly furnished lobby, past an automatic door and up another elevator.

During the ride Kanaya comments, "The lobby."

"What?"

"That was where we'd have had to wait for Varaha."

"We?"

"I'm here with you. I wouldn't just leave you waiting by yourself."

You're not really sure how to take that. "Thanks, I guess." You wheel along behind her through the building (compound?) for several minutes more, getting axious from the silence before you hear bubbling laughter for a moment.

Kanaya smiles, quickening her pace slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? a chapter without any annoying line breaks or changes in POV? What heresy is this?


End file.
